Realization
by RBCrazyFan
Summary: He realizes that her not showing up might have nothing to do with him but when he goes to find her, he gets a surprise


Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

A.N. I changed my pen name from 'cytheraofnaxen' to 'RBCrazyFan' to match with my livejournal account.

This one came to me while watching the end of 3.13 with Sam waiting for Andy. Don't know why but for some reason this one-shot and another one I'm working on I'm having a lot of trouble with the tenses (probably payback for teasing my brother that he keeps switching between past and present in his essays). So I'm sorry if I mixed a few up.

Enjoy!

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He watched his alcohol intake, stung by the fact that Andy didn't show up. Epstein and Nash wandered in sometime after Peck, both deep in conversation about something. From what he heard around the station, Diaz would not be showing up, he had a kid at home who now refused to go to sleep without "Daddy".

When Liam started to close the bar, Sam dragged Gail out. He had been watching her drink shot after shot, obviously hurt that Nick did not show up.

It was only after he dropped Gail off that he realized that Andy not showing up might have nothing to do with him. He remembered a seminar in the academy, the same seminar he pulled information from when asking Andy if it was the first time she held a grenade. The instructor had discussed how adrenaline enabled a person to do crazy things but when the excitement was over, sometimes there was that 'crash and burn' feeling. It could be that Andy had gone home to change and then the day had caught up with her.

Instead of going home, he headed to her place. He parked the truck and quickly took the stairs, hoping that she would still be awake.

He knocked on the door, not really surprised when she didn't answer. He pulled out his keys and found the key to her place. That should have clued him in to the fact that she wasn't over it, more than anything. He asked for his keys back, she never did. On the one hand, he hopes that she's asleep, that she will have an excuse for not showing up other than not wanting to talk to him. He doesn't know how he will be able to bear it if she really won't accept him and let him try again (then again, Sarah might be happy because this could be the push that will cause him to transfer to St. Catharines). On the other hand, he really wants to talk to her, to make sure that she's okay.

He quickly unlocked the door and called out for her softly. "Andy?"

The apartment's bathed in silence. The whole apartment's dark except for a small light over the sink. He walked towards the light. He knows Andy, when she goes to sleep, she doesn't leave any lights on.

Right by the light is a letter. He picked it up and his heart dropped as he saw the words "Dear Sam". She knew he would come - his gut started to scream at him.

Knowing that this letter might be deep, he headed over to the couch to read, flipping the lights so he wouldn't be in total darkness.

_Dear Sam,_

_I had a feeling you'd come when I didn't show tonight. They told me that I couldn't tell anyone, but they never said anything about leaving a letter for when someone breaks into my apartment._

He stopped reading to chuckle. His girl (when had he started thinking of her like that?) knew him well. Sighing, he continued reading.

_Sam, I just want you to know that I would have come tonight. I was about to head home to change and try to hide the bruise on my cheek (because I know you'd freak out about it otherwise) when Luke pulled me into his office. There was a last minute drop out and he chose me for Dakota. _

_You remember how before you went under with Brennan we talked about saving the good candy vs. eating it right away? I've got to try that way Sam. I wish I had the chance to tell you but I'd like to hope that you would have told me to go. I have a feeling that Luke might have asked Traci and she said no because of Leo. Sam, once I settle down, I'm not going to be interested in undercover and I want this for my career before I think about settling down._

Sam held the letter in shock. She was rambling but she had really mentioned settling down. He hoped she was talking about a family with him.

_Truthfully, even as I say that, had I known how today's events were going to play out, I would not have gone into Luke's office this morning to ask him about Dakota. I told him that my career was the most important thing to me. How could I back out after that? _

_Sam, my job is the second most important thing to me. YOU are the most important thing to me but you made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me. I've been lying to myself for weeks that I'm over you. I'm not._

_I can't expect you to wait for me, I have no idea how long this assignment is going to be for. You have waited for me so many times. The one time I waited for you - I didn't even last that long - and when Traci told me not to go back, I went ahead and followed my heart._

_Luke will be here any minute to pick me up so I really have to sign off and make sure that everything is settled. Someone is supposed to be taking care of my apartment but if you want to take it over, I'll leave you his number at the bottom of this letter. My one request is that if you do take over caring for my apartment (wow, that sounds weird), please, do me one favor - tell my dad where I disappeared to. Luke said I couldn't tell anyone but I want him to know that I am undercover._

_Sam, if you wait for me, I promise that we will try again - with a drink - as soon as I get back. I do love you, I have for longer than I'd like to admit. I know that it's hard for you to say the words but I've gotta hear you - we need to really talk about issues instead of what we did the first time. Every couple gets one breakup, this was our breakup._

_I love you and I'll miss you._

_Love,_

_Andy_

_P.S. When I get back, don't you dare mention Grey's Anatomy ever again._

Sam chuckled at the end of her letter and found the phone number she was talking about. He would call in the morning and stop off after shift to visit Tommy McNally. He had waited two years for her, he could wait another few months, especially since it was his screwup that caused her to even consider Project Dakota in the first place.

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A.N. Reviews make my day so let me know what you think.


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